April 2, 2016. Let’s talk about priority
One thing I have truly mastered in the past year, is how to turn a negative into a positive. Believe me, it is harder than it seems. When it is 3AM and you’re on yet another court ordered custody visitation trip, in another rental car, with your 2 year old in the back seat; positive thoughts are the only thing that will keep you awake. I have learned to be impressed by terrible results, blown away by the routes that the Universe has insisted I experience. You can ask yourself a million times, the inevitable “Why Me?!?” questions, but the truth is that you’ll never know until a later date. That feeling of being lost & clueless, is just hiding the fact that you are, in fact, exactly where you should be.
So, let’s get to the point here.
April 2, 2015 was both the best and worst day of my life. It’s the day I realized how terrible that title of “Single Mother” can feel when it is said out loud. I remember being hours from where our home use to be, watching my daughter play in the McDonalds playland, and thinking “Wow, it’s really just the two of us now.” It became real.
There was a numbing ache in my chest & a headache from hell, from a lack of sleep and an insane amount of stress. How could I raise my baby in another state, with no vehicle, no job, no degree, and zero money? I remember laying in my parents spare room, at 4AM, watching her sleep on a twin mattress on the floor, next to our 1 suitcase of belongings that we shared. I counted, 6 pair of underwear and 3 outfits. Maybe my Mom would have some of my old clothes from High School in the basement? Lets hope.
The mornings were almost as hard as the nights, drinking a gallon of coffee while writing out a to-do list for the day & applying for local healthcare jobs in our new town. I’m thankful my baby was too young to notice how tired and sad I was, though she did notice that I smiled whenever she looked my way.
The to-do lists I wrote were broken into categories of priorities; what did we need to survive & be happy? We needed each other, her and I. I needed to find a way to work from home. I went back to square one, wrote out a list of what I was good at, what my goals were for school and work, and began to put together a plan to start my own marketing company. Starting small, reaching out to old friends I knew in the automotive industry, I was desperate to get any promotional project I could. I knew enough to get the job done, learning more and more as time went on. I was passionate about getting my clients results & doing the best job I could on their projects. I enrolled in multiple online certification courses to learn how to better run a business, expand my knowledge of website development, and Google SEO. Slowly, the money and clients started to roll in. Networking is something I’ve always enjoyed, and learned to utilize what my peers had to offer, and what I had to offer them as well.
August 2015 was my deadline for success. If I did not have a steady income by then, I would go back to applying for healthcare positions at the hospital. With no child support at all, I didn’t have a choice but to make this work somehow. And when I logged into my bank account that month, a motivating title came to mind, “Entrepenuer.” I had done it.
Fast forward to today- April 2, 2016. I write this article from the happiest mindset I’ve ever felt. My company is a success, with doors opening to further my learning in other industries besides automotive. My daughter is happy & healthy, making friends with the neighbor kids next door and starting daycare. This day is very emotional, just to look back at all the terrible things that has happened in the last 12 months. But as I said, you need to look at these occurrences with an “impressed” mindset, and take the high road. Count your blessings, even if it is a single suitcase of belongings. Because one day you may be unpacking that suitcase in a home that you love, by simply getting out of bed each morning & drinking that gallon of coffee with a smile.